",,,They've Been Practicing For Over a Month Now..."

I could not have come across this tape at a better time, and I had to race to share it with the little corner of the world which comes here to listen to my collection of ephemera. This ties in perfectly with the recent release of the wonderful film "Florence Foster Jenkins", and with the publication of a book by the same title, by my friend, and fellow blogger, Darryl Bullock.

For what fell into my lap last week (or, more specifically, my speakers), but a spectacularly incompetent performance by a pair of otherwise unknown young men, laughably bad and comically sincere. 

This came about a quarter of the way through an otherwise tedious and nearly unlistenable 90 minute tape of a Pentecostal style church event, date and location unknown. The tape starts with the singing of several hymns, interspersed by prayers and community announcements. After the segment I'm featuring was a lengthy sermon, based on a specific text of scripture, and then, an even lengthier revival speech, by a man who, based on his accent, was clearly Australian - his speech leads to music while people come up to the front of the church to be received and to accept Jesus as their personal savior. 

Ah, but in between the final of the initial hymns and that lengthy sermon, comes this moment of magic, when, as you'll hear, a member of the congregation introduces two young men from the congregation, who have been practicing their song "for over a month now". Clearly, "over a year now" would not have helped, either. I don't know if it would have been appropriate in that setting for people to applaud, but no one does, and only a meek "thank you, fellas" follows the atrocious performance. Perhaps the man who introduced them no longer felt it was the "very special treat" he indicted it would be. 

In the spirit of Florence Foster Jenkins, please enjoy Zac and Arthur, with their rendition of "I'll Tell the World That I'm a Christian": 

Download: Zac and Arthur - I'll Tell the World That I'm a Christian

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A Hodgepodge - Three Short, Unrelated Tapes

I'm doing a bit of cleaning out of my "not yet shared" folder today, and offering up three relatively brief tracks, each from a separate tape, and not related to each other in any way I can think of (not from the same family, same genre, similar content), except that each is a home recording.

First up, a tape I've titled "11 Minutes of Chords and Talk, Two Minutes of Singing". I just got a kick of this tape, because these young people are clearly having fun, and interacting happily, and yet the point of recording seems to have been to record a performance - and yet, most of the tape is preparing in different ways for that performance - deciding what to sing, working out the chords, playing bits and pieces, etc. (in addition to multiple people asking "are you recording", or something similar, and a comment that "we've been here two days without getting organized..."), with the actual performance coming during the last 15% of the recording - little more than two minutes of a 13 minute tape.

I enjoy the fact that they mention, or sing lines from, at least four songs (by my count), but then end up doing a number not mentioned until moments before it is performed (and a half-assed performance it is, indeed). Musicians might enjoy one person telling another to play his guitar in "F Flat....or E!" Just a few moments in the lives of a small group of friends. A minor pleasure for sure, but I love stuff like this.

Download: Unknown - 11 Minutes of Chords and Talk, Two Minutes of Singing
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A tape I can best describe as "reprehensible" follows, one I've labeled "Badgering a Toddler", although "Dad's a Jamoke" would have worked, too. Please forgive me for the loud noise at the beginning - I should have lowered the volume or edited this out, and didn't....

Not much description needed here - an adult man repeatedly tries to get a child to talk into the microphone, becoming fairly abusive in tone at times. Both the sound of the child, and a brief reference to his age, make it clear that this is a toddler, and the man berates him for having nothing to say, and for not following his instructions. For nearly ten minutes. Obnoxious and exceptionally irritating.

Download: Unknown - Badgering a Toddler
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Finally, something that's getting to be an old standby of this site already, an audio letter. In this case, a stultifying set of conversations from a man (unnamed) and a woman (Jean) to some recipients named Dorothy and Bea. This tape features weirdly echoing sound for the first two-thirds of its 14 minute length.

And the tape seemingly starts up in the middle of a conversation, making me think maybe the tape is on side two as it starts - there are clearly references to things that have already been discussed, and we jump right into some exceptionally dull talk about research and theoretical issues. However, there is nothing on the flip side of this tape, so... either the flip side was erased, or there was another tape, or, this is all there was. I dunno.

After the man speaks, Jean comes in, and her discussion is nearly as mind-numbing, as she talks about teaching a chemistry course for "girls who are not going on to college" - it's a science course, but sounds more like a home-ec course. She finishes the tape by talking about some day to day events in her life (including her teaching experiences) and responses to things said/asked by the recipient of this tape.

Download: Unknown - Audio Letter
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